We have all seen it, and most of us have experienced our children throwing tantrums and acting out! So why do children throw tantrums instead of just using their words?

Temper tantrums range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath-holding. They are equally common in boys and girls and usually happen between the ages of 1-3. Every child is different, some have tantrums often, and some hardly ever have tantrums but just know that tantrums are a normal part of child development.

 Tantrums are how young children show that they are upset or frustrated.

Reasons Why A Child May Be Throwing A Tantrum:

• The child may be tired, hungry, or uncomfortable.
• They can’t get something that they want, like a toy.
• They get frustrated because an adult can’t understand what they want.
• The child wants to do it themselves but realizes they can’t.
• The child gets told ‘no.’

 – Toddlers can’t yet say what they want, feel, or need; a frustrating experience may cause a tantrum. Learning to deal with frustration is a skill that children gain over time.

Believe it or not, tantrums are an essential part of our child’s emotional health and well-being.

10 Important Reasons Why Your Child’s Tantrum Is Actually A Good Thing: 

• Better out than in – When we cry, we are literally releasing stress from our bodies.

• Crying may help your child learn – after they calm down again, they have cleared their mind after expressing their frustration and can learn something new.

• Your child may sleep better – Stress can cause a child not to be able to fall asleep and wake up from sleep. Crying and releasing that stress will allow your child to relax.

• Saying ‘No’ is a good thing – Saying no to your child sets boundaries, and they need those.

• Your child will feel safe telling you how he feels – most times; the tantrum is not because you said no; it’s them showing you how they feel about it.

• Tantrums bring you closer together – After the tantrum, hug them, show them they are loved.

• Tantrums will help your child’s behavior in the long run – Having a tantrum helps your child release the feelings that can get in the way of his natural, cooperative self.

• If the tantrum happens at home, it’s less likely to occur in public – when children are allowed to express their emotion fully, they will often choose to have their upsets at home.

• Your child is doing something most of us have forgotten how to do – They cry to release their stress and anger, and as adults, we tend to avoid crying to ‘fit into’ society.
• Tantrums are healing for you, too – Staying calm takes practice, but when we manage it, we are literally rewiring our brains to become calmer, more peaceful parents.

What Should You Do During A Tantrum?

 The most important thing to do during your child’s tantrum is to stay calm; if you get upset and angry, it will only make the situation worse. Everyone’s child needs different reactions, so know your child and what they need from you.

Sometimes it is best to ignore the tantrum! If you ignore it, they realize that they will not get your attention when they throw a fit.

After a tantrum, the most important thing is to praise your child for calming down and hug your child, reassure them that they are loved, no matter what.

 Helping Your Child Learn How to Express Their Feelings 

Young children have a hard time identifying how they are feeling and how to express those feelings appropriately. The first step is to help your child identify their own emotions and why they feel that way.

Here are 10 ways to help your child express their feelings:

• Use Words or Illustrations – Explain the feeling to your child by using easy words they can understand. Using picture books is a great way to illustrate feelings.
• Teach Your Child Sign Language – This gives them tools to express their wants and needs.
• Help Them Find A Solution – Teach your child different ways to deal with feelings and allow them to come up with solutions.
• Encourage with Praise – When you see your child positively expressing their feelings, always praise them.
• Practice – Practice strategies for expressing emotions by talking about feelings during daily life.
• Name the Feeling – Help your child give their feelings labels.
• Identify Feelings in Themselves and Other – Describe emotions they see around them.
• Accept Your Child’s Feelings – they will feel like you understand them, and that will help them cooperate with you and make them feel better.
• Listen to Your Child’s Feelings – They need to feel like you care.
• Talk About Others Feelings – When your child is upset about something that involved another child, talk about your child’s feelings, but also discuss how the other child may be feeling.

Children just want to feel loved and understood. Remember, when your child isn’t calm, your NUMBER #1 JOB IS TO STAY CALM!

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You might hate seeing your baby wailing, and you have no idea why. Is he hungry? Tired? Too hot? You could just wait until your baby learns to speak, but the reality is that you could be waiting for a word or two from seven months to a year. The good news? There’s a considerable way to start communicating with your baby at an earlier age(6months). It’s called baby sign language, and it could provide the tools you’ve been looking for to avoid frustration and keep a parent-baby bonding strong.

Why is baby sign language important?

It’s Fun!

There are many reasons for introducing your baby to baby signing. From the moment you see your baby repeat their first sign, you’ll be impressed and happy. Babies love signing because it gives them a meaning to connect with you more often and convey many different feelings. The best part is that there are a hundred daily chances to teach signs!

Making Words Visual 

Unlike a spoken word, a sign can be held static for a baby to imitate. Signs give meaning to words that would otherwise be too abstract for your baby to comprehend until they were much older. For example, the word wind does not refer to something your baby can see, but using an iconic gesture makes the subject instantly understood.

More Independent

Studies show that your baby feels confident in his ability to tell you what he wants, when he wants it, it gives him a greater sense of independence. Because he has a greater understanding of his environment, and because he has another of learning, associating, and understanding, he will feel freer to explore. You are providing a “scaffolding” for your baby’s learning experiences, whereby your baby makes new discoveries knowing you there for support and encouragement. If he needs help along the way, he easily able to ask for it.

Building knowledge

Your baby is able to take charge of his own education by indicating to you with a simple gesture just what it is he would like to know more about. He will also become very skillful at extracting further information from you! Baby sign language is a useful tool for assisting your baby in his development of concepts. Babies learn to form thoughts by their experiences and are continually refining their ideas and understanding. Infants start with “the big picture” and work from there. For example, when a baby first encounters a creature with four legs, tail, and fur, and is told it is a cat, suddenly every animal that loosely resembles a cat falls into the same category. This is because cat is the only word they may have learned to date to identify an animal.

Research has shown that child sign language may give a typically developing child a way to communicate months earlier, achieve better speech recognition skills over the first 3 years than those who only depend on vocal communication. This may help ease frustration between the ages of 6 months and 2 years — when children begin to know what they need, want, and feel, but don’t necessarily have the verbal skills to express themselves. Children who have developmental delays may also benefit from this. 

Keep in mind that it’s important to continue talking to your child as you teach baby sign language. Spoken communication is an essential part of your child’s speech development.

References:

Geers AE, Mitchell CM, Warner-Czyz A, Wang NY, Eisenberg LS; CDaCI Investigative Team. Early Sign Language Exposure and Cochlear Implantation Benefits. Pediatrics. 2017;140(1):e20163489. doi:10.1542/peds.2016-3489

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28759398/

MacDonald K, LaMarr T, Corina D, Marchman VA, Fernald A. Real-time lexical comprehension in young children learning American Sign Language. Dev Sci. 2018;21(6):e12672. doi:10.1111/desc.12672

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6191391/

Goodwyn SW. (2000). Impact of symbolic gesturing on early language development.
link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1006653828895

Hoecker JL. (2016). Is baby sign language worthwhile?
mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/expert-answers/baby-sign-language/faq-20057980

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